On the QT: Anyone for Twitter?

Fresh off of being told 55% of the nation are dissatisfied with his performance, Malcolm Turnbull started Question Time by running in from the Yarralumla end and delivered an absolute slow long hop to Julia Gillard. It was a question about the Primary School mentioned ad nauseum last week, and Gillard referring to the Liberal attacks as nit picking. Turnbull asked if the Auditor General's investigation into the school’s stimulus was nitpicking. Gee, how to make it hard for her Mal. You’re asking her to compare your attacks, many of which have been shown to be half baked, with a fully independent audit? Gee what to say…

That was pretty much the highlight for Turnbull. He asked a couple more, and none made it past the bat.  The ones he asked Julia, he (like all the other Liberal MPs) made a big show of reading out her full title of portfolios. In fact he read them out with a smug sense of self satisfaction, as though laughing at his own poorly phrased and ill-timed joke. (You have to give it to Malcolm, few others could come across as smug on the day that a poll says over half the nation thinks you’re stuffing up your job.)

Rudd only got one question - a Dorothy on the history of the world economic crisis over the last 365 days. He proceeded to pretty much give a recap of every day. It was dull, but it served its purpose – to thoroughly annoy the Liberal Party. Most annoyed was Tony Abbott, who stood up to block the camera view of Julia when she was answering her next Dorothy Dix on IR. It was juvenile stuff that you do once and then sit down. Abbott did it again, and got kicked out for his trouble. Like the flat track bully he is, he called for the wambulance and cried to the media that Question Time had become a farce because it was meant to be about the Government stating the truth, not making up lies about the opposition.

Oh gee Tony, I guess that’s why under the Howard Government every Dorothy Dixer ended with the phrase “and are there any alternate policies?”. I guess Parliament was better served when you were at the dispatch box putting on the lamest Tom Cruise impersonation ever, shouting to the ALP “Show me the policies!”

Please. Suck it up princess.

Another lot who can suck it up are all the Liberal MPs tweeting during Question Time in a pathetic attempt to get their message out. Here’s Peter Dutton as Julia began answering a particularly poorly constructed question from Christopher Pyne:

In qn time when answering: if rudd yawns, swanny goes dry in the mouth or gillard starts with a giggle or smile, u know its a good qn.

Sorry Peter, wishing and hoping don’t make it so. You guys have asked about 5 good questions all year (none by Dutton by the way), and when Julia starts with a giggle or smile it means you’re about to get hit over the fence for six.

Here’s Stuart Robert – the MP for Fadden who last week got skewered for telling the press that every other nation in the world was winding back their economic stimulus:

And now we're subject to a Swanny diatribe, Maybe Abbott was right to leave.

First off, Abbott got his arse kicked out, he didn’t choose to leave, and second, grow a pair! You hate being in opposition? Come up with some policies, elect an effective leader; spend less time trying to write a half-witty comment on Twitter and more time wondering what your IR policy will be, what your Environment policy will be, what your Health policy will be. etc, etc, etc.

To the Libs who think the way back into office is by Tweeting during Question Time, enjoy the next decade doing it.

This is how bad it got – Joe Hockey actually cited that great economic wiz David Koch in a question. Yep the bloke with the dumb Dad jokes from Sunrise (you know that program that got nominated for a Logie for Best Light Entertainment) is now the Liberal Party’s economic go to guy. Swan rebuked him for being such a dill, and Joe, in a fit of pique got kicked out as well. But never fear – he kept on Tweeting:

Swan just said that the biggest influence on interest rates is global affairs..he is living in Waynes world where there is no RBA cash rate

Sigh. Oh Joe, you may be right about “Wayne’s World” (get that hipsters – it’s a reference to a film that came out about 16 years ago), except Swan was actually talking about the biggest influence on the RBA cash rate. Sigh. Stop giving the ALP so much free ammunition.

Perhaps the true highlight for the Liberal Party was Wilson Tuckey yelling out as Tanya Plibersek got up to answer a Dorothy Dix on the impact of WorkChoices on women, that women only wanted a job on the weekends when the husbands were home to look after the kids.

Here’s Alex Hawke (young right wing fool from NSW) on twitter:

Imagine a Liberal Government, its easy if you try

Sorry Alex, but on the evidence of your party’s performance today we won’t even be close to imagining a Liberal PM for another 10 years.

Today like last week highlighted that the Liberal Part have stopped trying to get Rudd, they know Swan is safe, and so they are reduced to going after Gillard. And while the media may go on about her “losing some of her gloss” she is still hitting most balls out of the middle. But then given the ball is old, the pitch flat and the attack so weak, that is hardly much of a compliment.