Friday, February 18, 2011

Friday Night Relaxer – Relax!

It was one of those days that was well…. “work”. One of those, “how many times will this document crash while I am working on it” days. One of those, “will spending 30 minutes in a check out line at Woolies tip me over the edge” days. Actually on this last point I must say I was pleasantly surprised. The girl at the check out, though a “learner” was trying so very hard and was so very sweet that in the end I didn’t mind telling her the nectarines weren’t peaches, and that yes that was in fact a green capsicum, and I rather oddly I left Woolies smiling.

For much of the day I have also been stressing about what the hell to write about tonight. I couldn’t think of anything. C’mon I said to myself while driving home, I need a Friday Night Relaxer topic! No, I lie, I didn’t say this, I was too busy singing along to the Meatloaf Bat out of Hell CD that I had rediscovered earlier in the week and have found surprisingly enjoyable. I don’t think I have listened to it for about 7 years and yet I knew every single work from the start of the disc till the end (and that “For Crying Out Loud” song, what a way to end an album!).

But I digress.

I arrived home to an empty house (my wife and daughter were out). I usually do the cooking each night, but when I am cooking just for myself I usually take the laziest option possible.  Thus I fixed myself a pizza I had bought from Baker’s Delight, topped with some shredded cheese I found in the fridge and capsicum (yep green).

While waiting for the pizza to cook I got on Twitter and discovered that next week Ian Nelson, the Queensland State Director of One Nation, is to be a guest on Q and A. So as you do I threw out a few Tweets in response to the question posed by the official QANDA Tweet account: “Why put One Nation's Ian Nelson on #qanda?”. (One example – “Why? You mean there was thought involved? Wow, I just thought you were drunk.”)

I then ate the pizza.

It did not taste good.

Back on Twitter the conversation had turned to female pop singers of the 1980s and the lyrics of Duran Duran. (Look no one said Twitter is always deep).

By this time my wife and daughters had returned home, and my wife let me know that she thought it best we throw out the bag of shredded cheese I had used because, well it might be ok to eat but she wouldn’t give it to the girls.

So yeah. My stomach heard that, and quickly went into a sort of defensive pre-churn tightening mode.

All the while I was still no closer to a topic for this blog post.

And then I realised that I was getting stressed out that it was past 8:30 and I had not written a post called “Friday Night Relaxer”. Relaxer. Relaxer. And like Homer Simpson thinking about “Dental Plan!  Lisa needs braces”, the phrase “relaxer” hit home and I realised I didn’t need to write anything.

Now if I were being paid to write these posts I would of course done what all writers do when in the pits of an idea freeze, and written about my thought process on how I tried to come up with an idea to write a blog, and in the end could not.

But, sorry this blog has standards, and I cannot stoop that low.

So I figure, relax, let it go, and have a good weekend. Next Friday an idea will come. And after all, I’ve had a good conversation on Twitter, got through Woolies still smiling, and only had the downer of a dodgy pizza.

And you know what Meatloaf says about two out of three….


paddy said...

Dear Friday, when worrying about how to relax....Remember, you've got a lovely wife and family who know when to throw out the cheese.

Remember, it doesn't really matter who Mark Scott thinks should go on qanda.
And (most of all) remember that most people in this great country of ours....Can sing the words of two out of three ain't bad, without even referring to Google.
Bless em. :-)

Unknown said...

Thoroughly enjoyed reading this! Cheers! You hit my Friday night mood exactly.

Hope the cheese leaves no lasting damage...

Unknown said...

Thoroughly enjoyed reading this! Cheers! You hit my Friday night mood exactly.

Hope the cheese leaves no lasting damage...

Michael Cooper said...

Have a nice weekend, Grog, and stay off the cheese...

My wife threw out some shredded cheese the other day, and said I looked surprised when she told me it had gone off. A guy thing I suppose!

darkdirk said...

Nice one!

Being wifeless I don't believe in cheese going off and eat it unless it's mouldy (unless it's supposed to be mouldy). This aproach has worked successfully for 43 years
So I wouldn’t worry about the cheese thing

paddy said...

Addendum: While most people in this great county of ours can sing two out of three ain't bad.
I'll know we've truly grown up and become civilised, when they all go out on a Friday night and sing like this .....

Gordicans said...

Grog, your blog is top shelf rolls royce. Why (kevin asking his own question)? Because you cut through the crap. You are a great writer and with honesty (eg tonight was a really nice post), and I especially like your wonderful descriptions of the floor of the parliament when it sits. You can't find this stuff in the traditional press. Hats off to you.
Rgds Claverton
ps. we need to find a way for you and loon pond (my other favourite, you are pm, he is am) to receive subscriptions so we don't lose you from the ether

Pip said...

Lovely Friday relaxer anyway Grog and Meat Loaf is still gold.
As for Q+A what can you say but why does the national broadcaster need to feed us with their ridiculous balance, which isn't really.
One Nation does not belong on the ABC, better leave that to the likes of Sky News.
As the tweeps say, WT...

Pip said...

By the way everyone in my family is impressed that you do the cooking. Clearly a man of many talents ! Enjoy your weekend.

BennO said...

Free case of beer.

Anonymous said...

cheese doesn't go off, it just turns into a different type of cheese.

phil said...

...and....he wraps the threads together and brings it home.

Good one, and I also endorse dylwah's observation. It's just science.

Alistair Baillieu-McEwan said...

If you eat shredded cheese from a packet you deserve to have moments worrying about what to write. Stay off the stuff Grog - it's bad for thought processes, especially on Fridays.

emjar said...

My mum would never let us eat cheese at night because she said it would give us bad dreams.
What was that about???
Thankyou for a great Friday night relaxer even though I'm reading it on Monday afternoon.

Anonymous said...

Has Abbot ever advocated any policy that first hasn’t been advocated by Alan Jones, Andrew Bolt or Piers Ackerman? Perhaps his paid maternity leave scheme? Any others?

Easily the quote of the day!!!!!