Monday, April 18, 2011

Time to go and eat worms?

A quick post tonight (family stuff got in the way of my usual night’s schedule, and also I want to relax and watch Paper Giants!)
Today’s Nielsen Polls has the ALP behind 44-56 (have been told if they did half percentages it would’ve been 44.5 – 55.5).
On tonight’s 7:30 Report Chris Uhlmann pointed out the Government has a few fights on its hands. He’s right. But his list was a little light. Here are the fights the ALP has
  • Those who are against the Carbon Tax:
    • The miners
    • The manufacturers
    • The AWU and AMWU
    • Woolies and Coles and etc
    • Right-wing think tanks who for some reason don’t think the market is the best way to fix something
    • Those who think climate change can be solved by someone else
    • Those who think climate change is best solved by paying polluters to be nice
    • Those who are old and listen to Ray Hadley and know they’ll be long dead before their grand kids have to live with the effects,.
    • Those who say – hey I’ve got fluoro lights, what more do you want?
  • Those who are against the mining tax:
    • The miners
    • Anyone who has anything to do with the miners
    • Right-wing think tanks who will say the world will come to an end if the mining tax will come into being
  • Those who are against the pokies restrictions:
    • The clubs
    • Woolies (because they own a shirt load of clubs)
    • Australians (well it’d be un-Asutralin not to)
  • Those who are against the tobacco packaging laws:
    • Tobacco companies
    • Woolies and Coles (haven’t really seen this yet, but who do you think sells the most cigarettes?)
    • Right-wing think tanks who will say that the Govt mandating packaging is acquiring IP even though the Govt already mandates packaging. 
  • Those who think the Govt is about to hurt everyone on welfare:
    • People on welfare
    • People not on welfare but who think a Labor Govt should actually show some bloody compassion.
    • People who don’t really give a damn about people on welfare but who just want the Govt to act like what they think a Labor Govt should act like, so they can hate them for being that.
  • Those who think the Govt is stuffing up the asylum seeker issue:
    • The Liberal Party
    • The Greens
    • Anyone who supports neither of the above but thinks the ALP should show some bloody compassion
    • The few One Nation supporters people bussed in to protest the ALP actually showing some bloody compassion by placing asylum seekers in decent facilities in the Adelaide hills.
  • Those who think the Govt should not worry about getting back into surplus:
    • Those who think deficits are fine because the economy is slowing
    • Those who think the deficit is because the Govt wasted the surplus to begin with
    • Those who think inflation is a thing that the RBA can take care of
    • Those who don’t care at all about any of this but when they hear the word budget they swear and hate whoever is in power.
  • Those who think the Govt has a problem with middle-class welfare:
    • Those who want middle-class welfare slashed to pay for everything they want
    • Those who are in the middle-class and think cut my payments and you will be dead to me
    • Those who are in the middle-class and think middle-class welfare is bad, but just don’t touch child care rebate, which happens to be the only bit of middle class welfare being talked about.
  • Those who still think the BER was a waste:
    • People who aren’t real good at maths.
    • People who say, “But if the surplus worked why is the US is at 10 per cent unemployment?”.
  • Those who are against the NBN:
    • People who think the country is a thing where you have your hobby farm
    • People who think the laws of physics have a left wing bias
    • People who think the Telstra will do it (despite it having shown zero desire in the past)
  • Those who think the Govt has a problem with the gay marriage issue:
    • People who are gay
    • People who are not gay but think an ALP Govt should show some bloody compassion.
  • Those who actually can’t think of any specific policy they don’t like they just don’t like the vibe":
    • Those who think Julia Gillard should cry
    • Those who think Julia Gillard should not cry
    • Those who think Julia Gillard fakes it when she cries
    • Those who think she needs to do something about her wardrobe
    • Those who think she needs to do something about the voice
    • Those who think she lacks gravitas
    • Those who think she is wooden except when in parliament
    • Those who think she should not be so attacking in parliament
    • Those who think “JuLIAR” qualifies as intelligent debate
    • Those who think she is a communist
    • Those who think she is more right wing than John Howard
    • Those who liked her once but don’t now
    • Those who never liked her and still don’t
    • Those who think politics is stupid and since everyone else seems to be not like her or Tony Abbott they might as well do the same.
So all in all, fun times ahead.
Happy Days.


Greggsy said...

You forgot to mention "Those who dislike Julia's earlobes".

Red Bakersen said...

I don't care about ANY of this rubbish! I just want to know why the PM doesn't carry a handbag like a proper lady!

Michael said...


Pteropus said...

I agree RB and I dare to say that if it isn't a Glomesh handbag that JG should be carrying then it is a direct insult to the Glomesh handbag industry, another typical example of Labor Government economic mismanagement.

Mr Tiedt said...

"...who think the laws of physics have a left-wig bias."


Anonymous said...

Excellent list. Neatly sums up what they have got against them. So either they show some stuff and get on with it or they give in and get thrown out.

Anyone who thinks about the alternatives will find that not acting might be a whole lot worse.

In a weird kind of way, there is no way they won't offend someone, so they should go for broke. You also missed - "Those who think the Military culture is just fine and no one should ever take them one"

Greg Jericho said...

Cheers - Michael - fixed

Oh bloody hell: the earlobes, the handbag!!! Gahhh how could I forget those!!!

Everyone, just assume I did mention them.

Michelle said...

Glad someone mentioned the earlobes - next person who mentions it to me might get a punch in the face!

ewe2 said...

Grog, you missed "Right-wing think-tanks who for some reason don’t think the market is the best way to fix somethiung"

Although I'm pretty sure right-wing think-tanks need spellcheckers too...

Anonymous said...

The PM does carry a very large handbag but like most women she puts it down when she has something to do.

I was thinking along the same line myself about the current situation that the PM finds herself in. It appears it does not matter what she does as the criticism does not appear to be founded on any facts.

My advice to her and the Labor party would be to ignore the present polls and much of what is in the MSM. The government needs to focus on doing what needs to be done.

People forget that the PM proved she was a doer in the previous parliament where if my memory is correct, she held three large portfolios. She removed Mr. Howard's industrial laws, she bought in reforms to education and handled the ABC Learning fiasco with aplomb.

She fulfilled most of these roles with little fanfare and a lot of behind the scenes work. Why would the lady's ability or mode of operation be any different now she is PM. She is a lady that has proved that she can walk and talk at the same time.

Patricia WA said...

What Can Our PM Do That’s Right?

Just read what all the papers say.
Australians wish she’d go away.
Her ear lobes dangle far too low
She speaks like us and much too slow.
She a ranga too, red headed.
What d’you mean, she’s level headed?

Yes, the French would love her sang-froid,
Russians promote her Commissar,
But our media, a ship of fools,
Just heap insults on our Jules.
Well, this is the Land Downunder,
They’ll pick any leftie blunder.

The Brits would admire her mettle,
That courage and her fine fettle.
Compare her calm, her composure,
With the constant self exposure
Of our Opposition leader,
National daily headline feeder.

Bare chested, rising from the sea!
“Come on cameras! Look! look at me!”
Ask a question he doesn’t like
He’s off away and on his bike!
While he’s keeping fit, on the run,
She’s works. Just look at all she’s done.

Our economy ‘swans’ along,
Still, we worry, things could go wrong!
Not silly things like climate change!
The dollar’s impact on price range!
Any stronger we’ll have to claim
Compensation. And she’s to blame!

Elsewhere the world is suffering Hell.
Here things are going far too well.
So many people are employed
Too little leisure’s now enjoyed
Which Aussies need to bitch and fight.
This PM must go! Maybe then, "She’ll be right!"

George said...

Good post, but I don't think gay marriage is just an issue for gays and those who have "compassion" for them. That's pretty patronizing. Compassion should have nothing to do with public-political life. It has justified all sorts of rotten things in the past. How about equality of dignity and status?

ernmalleyscat said...

Good one, but I think you mean Woolies is against the pokies reform because they own a shirtload of pubs (not clubs).

Pubs and the AHA seemed to have escaped a lot of the responsibility for problem pokies gambling, even though they mitigate the problems even less than clubs and don't have any of the community interaction.

Greg Jericho said...

Sorry you think that George - it certainly isn't meant to be condescending.

AngelofAttitude said...

You forgot the APS who have just been told to tighten belts and accept a payrise which is under CPI and who are going to have to deal with the fallout from all of the other issues.

Under that come
the CPSU
the Finance Union
the AWU
and any other union involved in the APS.

Anonymous said...

Grog, an excellent post, which I'm sure we'll want to refer to frequently in the future. There's an element which you've touched on peripherally, which I think is worth its own consideration - the visceral personal hostility which the PM seems to arouse. Using your template, I've attempted to analyse this:
People who loathe JG:
Men hate her because she's a woman.
Hetero men hate her because she's hooked up with a hairdresser, rather than a man with a proper bloke's job.
Gay men hate her because she's reluctant to pick a fight with Don Farrell and Joe de Bruyn on an issue which is critical to the small proportion of gays who wish to marry, and important (as a symbol of acceptance) for gays who don't wish to marry and those who sympathise with them, and is a 5th order issue for most of the rest of the population.
Queensland men and women hate her because she (allegedly) shafted Kevin Rudd, and they wanted that pleasure for themselves.
Queensland men and women hate her because she made Anna Bligh look good during the floods.
Compassionate men and women hate her because the Labor Party should show a bit of bloody compassion.
Older women hate her because she's had opportunities which were denied to them.
Women in adequate relationships hate her because she has a relationship with a live-in hairdresser.
Women who have left relationships, or never managed one long-term, and can't (re-)partner, because all the good ones are taken, gay or married, hate her because she's had several apparently good relationships ("and she's not even purty", as some women castigated Monica Lewinsky).
Ambitious young women hate her because they can't now be the first female PM.
Compassionate women, and Queensland women have the same motivation as males).
South Australians hate her because she left Adelaide at the earliest possible opportunity.

Anonymous said...

I think what you have revealed is the Governments propensity to fail in selling any of its policies to anybody.

Except you of course Grog

Anonymous said...

A new prob with the PM mentioned on ABC AM today - where else. The Chinese my not like her because 'she doesn't speak Mandarin, unlike her predecessor.' (And who was that???)

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the military. Defense doesn't like their Minister. Though they didn't like the last ten either. Personally I am looking forward to our first female Defense Minister. That'd really rock the establishment

There's also all the people who hate Julia for dying her hair red because it looks so good on her.

And there's the Labor party, who hates her for giving perks to the independents.

Asylum-seekers don't like her either, but as they're all in concentration camps and don't have the right to vote they don't count.

BTW not using a spell checker is also UnAustralian - pick up your socks or you may end up on Easter island...